I have decided to give myself a break

I did really well going from 182 to 122 pounds, and if I gain a bit during winter, not such a big deal.
I will make my maintenance weight between 120 - 130 pounds and not beat myself up so much.

or do I go in this direction?

http://www.computerpower.ac.nz/uploads/downloads/PDFs/CoursesNZ/NZ_BusinessSystems_new_feb07.pdf

Designing websites
Database building administration and management
Create an e-commerce enabled website - with electronic customer ordering
Learn Java - creating applets and event programming and GUI applications

decisions descisions

something to ponder

Found my stream :-) I think, for now

http://www.computerpower.ac.nz/uploads/downloads/PDFs/CoursesNZ/NZ_NetworkEngineering_new.pdf

I get to play with
CISCO
JAVA and
C

get my MCP, MCSA, CCNA, A+ hardware and software, and also Network+

regarding "Don't you absolutely hate when...."

my earlier post
"Don't you absolutely hate when....

You know something is going to happen, you wish it wasn't, you wish you aren't right... then it does and you still aren't ready for it."

But its me thats changing. It is so easy to point at others but its not others, its my feelings and my thoughts changing, they are still the same people. For once in my life I realise to go further I need to pull away from the safe, and get on with living. Its me evolving again. Its scary but it feels right. And this time I have a loving hand ready to offer a hand if I need it.

In other words, I was floating down the river to my destination, scared of what I may find and for a while I have been stuck in long grass on the side of the river where at least I know I'm safe and am comfortable. Time to carry on down the river to learn and grow.

Better steady than going up :-)

No more days to go Im not too upset with 127 I think I should expect to be between 122 - 130

Day	Days to go	Goal	June	Weight	Calories eaten
1	24		6th	127.2	1099
2	23		7th	128	1000
4	21		9th	127	1060
5	20		10th	126.2	1089
6	19		11th	127.4	1065
7	18		12th	127.4	3189
8	17		13th	129	1221
9	16		14th	129.4	1270
10	15		15th	129.2	1233
11	14	128	16th	128.8	1300
12	13		17th	128.4	1292
13	12	127	18th	126.2	1312
14	11		19th	126.6	1495
15	10	126	20th	125.2	1549
16	9		21st	126	2524
17	8	125	22nd	127.6	2478
18	7		23rd	128.8	1334
19	6	124	24th	127.4	1294
20	5		25th	127.4	1509
21	4	123	26th	127.4	1509
22	3		27th	127.4	2852
23	2	122	28th	127.4	1407
24	1		29th	128	1491
25	0		30th	127

Don't you absolutely hate when....

You know something is going to happen, you wish it wasn't, you wish you aren't right... then it does and you still aren't ready for it.

New idea

Trying to stick to this way of life is difficult but not impossible, I will stick with it. I will.

did have my chart here showing cals and weight

have updated it, but comments are still on this post.

Reality check

After over eating again today - with not too much regret I must add, I have decided that my goal weight should be 122 - 126. I'm a bit scared to look at the scales tomorrow morning. I think I was being slightly unrealistic going for 118 (or even trying). Crossing my fingers for tomorrow morning.

News Flash - I think I have worked out the 1/2 the water rentention problem

My drug of choice when in pain is Ibuprofen. Side effects of ibuprofen is da dah ... water retention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibuprofen#Side_effects
"Common adverse effects include: nausea, dyspepsia, gastrointestinal ulceration/bleeding, raised liver enzymes, diarrhea, headache, dizziness, priapism, salt and fluid retention, and hypertension."

http://www.drugs.com/ibuprofen.html
"swelling or rapid weight gain;"

I feel like a yo-yo

I have been sooooo good and my weight does not want to recognise this. This is the week of the month I retain water, so I've got to look at this logically. I should start seeing my actual results in about a week and a half again, but its good to see how much my body can fluctuate. Logically, I can't be gaining true weight as I'm not eating enough calories to gain, I am eating enough to lose.

I'm going to lose this extra weight by the 1st of July

So I thought I better start blogging my "progress" again. Maybe it will help.
At the very worst, I just want to be 126 as a norm. At the best I want to be weighing in at 118 on the morning of the 1st of July.
So day 1 of blogging my weight
6th June - 127.2

Ok decided that just extra water is not cutting it

I'm going to keep up the water drinking, but input vs output I think has to be taken into consideration also now. So putting exercise into the equation also.

experiment continued

I've weighed in at 127 today, yes a little bit higher, but not how I was gaining weight before on that many calories by any means, and I'm not feeling as hungry anymore, I can't eat as much as I used to. I will see how today goes.

Experiment on weight loss using water

Day	Weight	Glasses of Water	Calories Digested
1	127.8	16	2444
2	127.8	22	2175
3	126.2	23	2082
4	127	Today 5th June

Good Morning :-) Theory 2 is working well

Day of experiment when trying to maintain on 1200 calories with some blow out days I was 127.8
weigh in yesterday after eating 2444 calories and drinking 16 glasses of water was also 127.8
and
I'm weighing in at 126.2 pounds this morning
Yesterday I ate 2078 calories so not as many as the day before (but I did not feel like eating that much) and 22 glasses of water.
I was feeling a bit worried yesterday because I was sure by weight was going to go up.
But no, I'm definately going to having another calorie free day with lots of water :-) today

ok new theory based on the previous one :-)

Theory 2:
Our bodies aren't as stupid as we thought they were, the only reason why we are fat and aren't using the best of our brains is purely lack of nutrition. Yes lack of nutrition. Our bodies still accept food, but still don't utilise dehydrated and processed food properly because it does not come with enough water, so like a packet of dehydrated soup, add water through your day, your body releases energy because it recognises/registers the amount of food you are eating and slows you wanting to eat so much and by the end of the day you don't feel starved and you are happy to eat less, because your body knows how much it has actually eaten. :-) & :-) And because it knows how much it has actually eaten, your metabolism is faster.

Where did this theory come from you ask.... :-) the rest of yesterdays meals and water intake.
I've been taking courses online, in adddition to the food that I wrote down yesterday I managed to take in at least 16 glasses of water, and eat through an extremely yummy and fattening caramel square, 1 banana, 2 carrots, 1 standard size chicken and mushroom pasta which had a very yummy cheesey sauce,1 very large icecream dipped in chocolate and nutts and a standard size popcorn. I eat almost twice as many calories as I normally do, which would normally equal at least 2 pounds on the scales the next day.
I was really shocked (happily) to find no change, that was a very big binge yesterday and I didn't gain a thing. I talked about the courses I did yesterday, cause for the first time in a long time I felt little problem concentrating or stress over them. So yes I will be carrying on with this non diet today :-). Lets see what the scales say tomorrow. :-)

So there it is, 1 big discovery for me.