Friday is here and

one more day before weigh in. To be fair to myself if I were on my old scales I would have lost 3 - 4 pounds, but on the new ones my weight loss this week is presently 1 pound.

So the people out there who care and were worried about the first week, there is no need to. I still will be having salads for dinner as soon as I loose those 2 extra stubborn pounds. Thank you for caring though.

I can't wait till the weekend, catching up and taking it easy.

Effects of my mini make over

On Monday and Tuesday I've have had heaps of positive feedback. I suppose I'm going to have to get used to people noticing me. This week will be a very low weight loss week, although I'm still expecting to loose 4 pounds (just under 2kg).
Reason: I've started having cup a soup for lunch and my metabolism is low from not eating for the 7 days prior.
The soup is giving me more energy so my metabolism should be getting faster. I'm feeling stronger any way.
Its really incredible how slow your metabolism can get that I'm almost maintaining my weight on 100 - 200 calories a day.
I went out and bought electronic scales last night, my rusty old ones are saying hi to the rubbish collection tomorrow. The difference between them is 3 pounds. Which I have had to ignore those three pounds and pretend I haven't lost them as they have already been accounted for.
Anyway 3 more pounds and I'm going to try stomaching salads for dinners.

And hey just found out that blogspot seems to like firefox more than IE. To edit I will start using firefox from now on.

Last night

Richard sent me an email of his thoughts and feelings about us. I was so impressed, he was very candid about things that upset him and how he feels about me (good and bad). It was one of the nicest things anyone has written. Honesty is important to me. I know if we get back together there is heaps of work to do from both sides, and I think there is a chance that communication and understanding where each other comes from would make it very successful.

Went to lunch with Richard today

Its strange not holding his hand, I kept crossing my arms so I would not accidentally go for his hand. I had asked him last night if he could please not look for someone else for a month, because I just want to give us a chance to rekindle what we had before we rushed into everything. And if there is something worth holding on to, just taking things slowly.
(Also gives him a chance to get away and think about what he really wants, and if things don't work it gives me time to accept that it was not meant to be)
After speaking with Richard he did not realise that's what I meant. He said he would give it a month after asking.
He has been very patient with me.

Jumping up and down

I rechecked my bmi verses my height today. I mucked up (grins) in my favour. I am now in my healthy weight range (at the top end of course), but healthy none the less.
I've fixed up the lower end of my bmi as well.

Relief

Richard came around and fixed my wireless issue on my PC.

We had a good talk.
I explained how I totally understand him wanting his own space and honestly I think he could really use somewhere where he can go and think and relax and sort out his thoughts.
I'm finding that I'm now enjoying the space, I can eat what I like when I like, more time to pamper myself (did a mini make over today, plan to stay this way after 2 people saying I'm looking good). Anyway..... I said that if he wants us to be friends I need to know if there is hope for us. (that's not what I was asking at all).
I love him heaps, and yes there is so much I miss about him, but at the beginning everything went too fast and we did not have time to talk and understand each other before Richard moved in. This has been very frustrating for both of us. (which has caused arguments).
I finally worked out what I wanted to say at the end of the conversation, at that is I need clarity on what is acceptable in this friendship.
I love the idea of being friends at the moment, and if anything works out again, I would be happy for it to, when we understand each other. I said that I can't just wait on the basis that he might or might not want me back, so I had to know that he would be ok if I ended up finding someone else before he decided (because he might not ever decide). He agreed.

Wow - 1st week weigh in and I have lost 16 pounds

That's 1 stone and 2 pounds in one week. I've never lost that much in one week.
39 pounds/ 18 kg to go.
Although I'm feeling very weak this morning. Next weeks weigh in will be way less weight loss. I've not been this weight for about 4 years.
I'm not giving up this fight.
I now have TV, although in my efforts to install it, I inadvertently uninstalled wireless, by starting my PC up without the USB wlan attached. Richard used to look after the router and the home network, so I asked for his help, he was very helpful.
There is much for me to learn about this wireless network, I'm getting there.

Weight loss is going great

I am 1 pound away from losing a whole stone this week. I have decided to be a bit more realistic on the goal weight. I was wanting my goal weight to be at the lowest end of the healthy weight range. I've decided 9 stone is a more realistic weight.
As at today I have lost 6 kg / 13 pounds. And I now have 20 kg or 42 pounds more to loose. :-).
I know the weight loss will slow down and I am prepared for this.

I bought a tv tuner last night, so tonight I will have tv again since Sunday.

I don't know what my future holds for me

But I do have control over my weight now and I will be taking full advantage of this new control. I have worked out that by June at the latest I will be down to my ideal weight. I would have lost 60 pounds (28 kg), I can't wait. Next summer will be the first time on the beach in a bikini. I promise to add the before and after photos.
50 pounds (24 kg) to go.

Talking

Richard and I talked last night, I slept a bit easier last night.
I really don't know what else to say.

I don't know what title to put on this one

4:00am Monday morning – 20th March 2006 (either computer or internet connection was mucking up getting this in my blog earlier)
Richard and I broke up this weekend. I feel like my world has tipped upside down. I can only stop crying when I’m not trying to work out what went wrong or someone brings up his name.
I’m stopping my headaches by drinking water they seem to be from crying too much. Even the smell of food makes me want to be sick. I’ve given up on sleep for tonight. I feel mentally and physically drained, I don’t understand where it went so wrong.

Richard has lots of support which is great.I’m lucky enough to have supportive family who has rung me and txt me often since. And a friend of the family has stayed over night last night to keep me company, which helped to keep my mind off everything. Richards mum has been her lovely self (so supportive).

He has tried to be there for me, asking me how I’m doing, this makes it hurt even more. He shows no emotion. I’ve not been able to eat since our fight on Friday night. Work will be a break from this pain. I can’t comprehend how someone can say they love you the day before and be non emotive and even happy to go out find a flat, and move out the day after. He rang last night to see how I was. I honestly don’t know if he were expecting me to say ‘great’, he seemed really happy.

People around him say that there is a reason, but to protect him I won’t say what they think as he has not admitted it in his own blog any where. If I had a choice I would have listened harder when he said that people in his family say he has this condition and I would have studied up on it. I would have rewound Friday night so it did not happen.
I want him to ring saying that he misses me and he loves me and that he has worked out that its easier living with me than away from me. (I know this is more than likely just a dream, that hurts me more than trying to look ahead).

On a lighter note

I have started a new website www.wishesandblessings.com.
There is lots more to do but thought into action is going well. :)

One of the saddest things I've had to do

Half of my life (my family blogs) have had to be taken off my blog and will stay off my blog from here on in. I WISH PEOPLE COULD STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF CENSOR THOSE WHO ARE HONEST.

I was well within my rights.

The privacy law for those who don't know it,
http://www.nz-lawsoc.org.nz/lawtalk/651privacy.htm

and a snippet from this site on privacy.

"The Court of Appeal decision in Hosking has further clarified the situation somewhat. The facts in the Hosking case are well known and do not require extensive examination here. In short, Mike and Marie Hosking attempted to stop New Idea magazine from publishing photos of their 18-month-old twin daughters. The pictures had been taken while Mrs Hosking was pushing her daughters in a buggy through a street in Auckland.
The Hoskings argued that their children’s privacy would be breached and that an injunction was an appropriate remedy. The court, however, said that the Hoskings’ case failed because the photos showed nothing that could not have been observed by a member of the public on the Auckland street on that particular day. It was also held that the photos were not highly offensive to a reasonable person.
Gault P and Blanchard J considered the two fundamental requirements for a breach of privacy were the existence of facts in respect of which there was a reasonable expectation of privacy and publicity given to those facts that would be considered highly offensive to an objective reasonable person."

Yesterday was Jess's and Eric's wedding & Aydans Birthday

As you can see the bride was beautiful, the groom handsome.
The wedding was lovely and the weather just got better through the day.

Aydan got his first mp3 player, and seems to enjoy it. On his birthday, Amanda took him to Rainbows End and he got a chocolate cake, and cell phone.