Some questions for the universe...

Why in so many space programmes people from other worlds speak english?
Why do people fight each other in the name of religion when in all religions there is a rule that has an equivalent to "Love thy neighbour"?
e.g. (from Wikipedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethic_of_reciprocity#Hinduism
Hinduism
"This is the sum of the Dharma: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you" (Mahabharata 5:15:17)
Sikhism
"As you see yourself, see others as well; only then will you become a partner in heaven." Bhagat Kabir GGS 480
Buddhism
"Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful." (Udana-Varga 5:18)
Judaism
"Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18
Christianity
“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19; Matthew 22:39) (Mark 12:31) (Luke 10:27) (Romans 13:9) (James 2:8)
Islam
"No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself." (Sunnah. Forty Hadith of an-Nawawi 13)
Confucianism
"What you do not wish upon yourself, extend not to others."
-- Analects of Confucius, Chapter 15, Verse 3 [1], c. 500 B.C
Bahá'í
“Ascribe not to any soul that which thou wouldst not have ascribed to thee, and say not that which thou doest not. Blessed is he who prefers his brother before himself” Baha’u’llah Tablets of Baha’u’llah 6.71

Half way through the first week of my 2 week holiday

My hope to have a relaxing holiday is slowly getting there, there have been a few hiccups though, including the weather not wanting to play ball. Have painted a bit more of the fence, and I am presently relaxing in house instead of getting burnt.

Boxing Day

And I have survived Christmas, I have gained 2 pounds, I'm not too upset with this as I was starting to get a bit too thin. Present weight is now 123.6 pounds.
I don't think I could manage the Boxing Day sales, I don't like shopping during the best of times but there are a few things I have noticed that would be handy around the house, like extra cutlery (used some plastic forks for my family Xmas dinner because my cutlery set is only for 6) and I could also use some more pudding bowls. I saw a cutlery set similar to my own at the warehouse, so I am definitely considering it.
I bought a doll to go to a child with little, Kmart had a "wishing tree" and I got her in to the shop on Saturday (the 23rd of December), I was going to put the Doll in the Countdown box but they had already sent theirs away. The lady at the Kmart counter said "thank you very much" and I was happy just to get the little doll in in time for Christmas. My sorrow to joy quickly turned to sorrow again when I put the doll under the "Wishing tree" to see that on the 23rd of December in a middle to upper class area my little doll was only one of about 6 presents. I hope the child who got the little doll likes her.

Christmas Day

First Christmas Day away from my family for an extremely long time. I missed them, Dad called to say merry Christmas, my sister text to say merry Christmas. I had a pre Christmas with them on the Saturday night as that was the only time they could both make it to Auckland. It was great having them here. I hoped they all liked their presents. I got a fishing reel (a bait runner), I've been wanting one for years, 2 sets of underwear (very nice too), a lovely smelling soap and a little angel (which I thought was extra special).

Christmas was filled with running around getting the house ready for my boyfriends family, Richard was a great help getting the place vacuumed and chairs in from the garage, cutting up the pumpkin the night before, putting up with worrying about silly little things, hoping that I had not forgotten anything. My first Christmas where the main meal was vegan, chicken and roast veges and stuffing cooked in the roasting dish (the vegan chicken from blissful foods is very nice - for those meat lovers needing some hints http://www.blissfulvege.com/chicken.htm its called the vegetarian goodluck chicken) with some side meat for us meat eaters. Desert was fruit salad, soy ice cream, strawberries and for the non vegans there was also mini pavlovas and cream and Xmas cake. The first time I have hosted a Christmas meal, I think they lived through my cooking. I was getting worried for a while there that the meal was going to be over cooked (burnt even), but I'm getting better at working out temperatures and timing now. It was the first time my boyfriends mum would be eating my cooking and this was a bit nerve wracking as I know she is a great cook. Robyn gave me a bread roll serving plate (which came in really handy for the garlic bread), a serving dish for dips and chips etc, a makeup all in one compact. Caro and Dono gave me a red carry bag, which is going to come in really handy for the beach and going swimming. It was all very nice. I felt very spoilt. I hope they enjoyed their Christmas lunch here. I like being able to let people relax and just come over and enjoy themselves, as these are normally the people who do things for everyone else, and I like to let them know that they are just as special. My little way of showing I care about them.
The day ending quietly and the rest of the holidays to look forward to.

Christmas Day - diet (or lifestyle change)

I had always promised myself a calorie free day (as in no counting of calories) for my birthday and xmas. I was actually still sticking to calorie counting up to 4pm yesterday till I "gave in". I can't actually call it that cause I had promised myself this little pleasure. But to be very honest, I'm afraid. I have been so strict on counting calories and all that went bye-bye yesterday. Today is a new day. Today I have decided that I have enough knowledge to not have to track everything. Lets see how I go.

Wow the days are getting faster

Just changed my blog from the old version to the newer one. I seem to think that the availabity of making a blog private. Lets see what else this new version can do......
Xmas is getting close. Christmas tree is finally up. The warehouse comes in awfully handy.
Holidays are just around the corner and if I blink I might just miss them. I am maintaining my weight, I have got to start getting into exercise though. A few New Years resolutions for the new year won't go astray.
J

Time is ticking

it is the 8th of December already. I have forced myself through 2 public speeches which have destroyed my immune system. I still seem to be getting slowly better at this practice. Although the last one I was sick and people could see me physically shaking and one young lady kept voicing this all through my speech which was in my own language, maori and samoan. That was a bit extreme next time I will leave speeches to just my own language. Hope your xmas or other celebration preparations are going well. I have promised myself that I'll get the tree up and decorated by this Sunday.
Summer has decided to come visit New Zealand finally and there have been some exceptional days like last Saturday and Sunday. :-)
Chat you all later

Its been little while since I last blogged so I thought I better

Over the weekend I caught up with my half brother. I've not seen him for 8 years when he and my ex step father dropped off some pressys for xmas for the nephews. He is 20 now and is towering over me. He looks like he is doing well and has a lovely girlfriend and I'll be seeing him again this Saturday for movies and pizza. It will be good.
Got a very short notice invite last night for tonight to go to Richards nephews birthday. Should be interesting.
I'm still maintaining my weight :-), next goal is to stop relying so heavily on calorie counting.

I'm still maintaining on 128 pounds

Its getting a bit happily tedious.

I've started as a helper with club274, the kids are absolutely great, they pick up concepts easily and still have minds to try things that us adults would not think of.
In New Zealand the link is www.clubhouse274.org.nz originating from MIT http://llk.media.mit.edu/

I weighed in yesterday again

at 128 pounds still. I will be starting with club 274 not next week but the week after. I can't wait, the kids are great and I can't wait to help - reminder to self to bring my reference books that I don't use that often, including flash with me the first day.
We had Julie, Caro, Dono and Perry around for dinner last night. Was a great night and I think they lived through my food and cooking. I made far too much, but I prefer to have too much than too few.
I'm sure I will get better at cooking with tofu, next idea is to try it with satay instead of trying to make it take like meat.

Suz.bz now added to sj.net.nz and updated

I think it looks good. A lot smaller, easier for me to update, tidier.

I went to see dad and Marley (got to check the spelling of her name) at the airport. It took a lot longer because Marley is not a resident. Dad kindly bought me a bottle of Kahlua back. Marley seems really nice, I hope NZ'ers will be patient with her trying to speak english.

Weigh in day

Yesterday was weigh in day again. 128 pounds again.
I really have to get more exercise in and start toning up.

******News Flash****************
Friends of Richards got engaged yesterday at her 30th birthday party. It was so sweet and he did an absolutely brilliant job of proposing. Congratulations you two, you know who you are. Hugs.
******News Flash****************

Just bought a new domain name suz.bz - I like it

I am going to have to tidy up my domain names.

I am letting
sj.net.nz
theideasmachine.com
wishesandblessings.com
ittechshare.com and
helpdeskshare.com run out.

I am keeping
suz.bz (to replace sj.net.nz),
jeffares.info (for family),
nzchildcare.info (as my own resourse and if it helps others great),
and I'm keeping nzideas.com.

I am seriously considering selling
cpnz.com
kiwiideas.com
nzfindit.co.nz
nzfindit.com
aucklandit.com
dunedinit.com
and christchurchit.com.

A few tips that have helped me loose weight

1) At least 8 glasses of water (get more exercise running to the loo, helps you feel fuller and gives you something with no calories to put in your mouth, I have also been told that your body needs to burn more calories to heat up your body with more water in it.)
2) Green tea - Has something in it that helps you not feel so hungry and heaps of other great reasons
3) Have breakfast - speeds up your metabolism for the day
4) Start on low calories and slowly increase to your maintenance level - your body won't have as many plateus and you will then know where your maintenance level is. (My opinion as it worked for me)
5) Walks are a great form of easy exercise (My opinion again)
6) Fiber is your friend
7) Eat bulk foods that help keep you full (carrots, asparagus, lettuce, tomatoes, pumpkin)
8) Don't deny yourself (on saturdays I have a special meal - kfc, burger fuel, my favorite smoked fish in white sauce on pasta etc) I just stay within my calorie allowance for the day
9) And this special site, track your food habits, count your calories, read the articles, take inspiration from others. - www.Sparkpeople.com is brilliant

Maintenance

Well Im still maintaining, still 128 :-)

Ok, I promised and now I'm keeping the promise

The last time I felt comfortable in a bikini And now 22 Sept 2006

Last night was the reason for the goal date

and the first photo is the ball 2005
82 kg/ 181 pounds/ 12 stone 13 pounds

the ball 2006
58 kg/ 128 pounds / 9stone 2 pounds

Wow I can't believe I have lost 53 pounds

Weigh in again and

again I am 128, so it looks like I am stuck on 1400 calories a day, I have worked out what my actual diet is (already entered in) so I can stop counting calories and have a healthy balanced diet, while allowing for the daily sweet (cause I have a sweet tooth).

My diet rounded off, so I can stop counting calories

water 8 glasses
breakfast 1 egg and 1 cup all bran, teaspoon marmite
lunch soup or standard sushi or salad or weight watchers meal and 2 carrots
dinner a small meal,
1) 1 cup of vege, 1/2 cup of carb, 1/2 a hand of protein, 2
tablespoon flavouring
2) Soup with 50 grams of smoked salmon
3) Weight watchers meal or other equal low fat meal
4) 1 snack pizza (like Mcain) with 50 grams of smoked salmon
5) Large salad with either low fat dressing or no dressing with either
1/2 of grilled chicken or 50 grams of smoked salmon
snack 3 sugar free suckers, 2 milk biscuits,
pudding or drink
1 weight trumpet or weight watchers icecream tub/Chocolate pudding with a lollie or 2 mini chocolates or 1 mini chocolate and 3 lollies, or 6 lollies or 2 glasses of wine or 2 kahlua with diet coke, or 1 double kahlua with diet coke. (licorice alsorts = to the mini chocolates)

This morning was the day of judgement...

I'm back down to 128, so I'm feeling happy with keeping with the 1400 calories a day. I was worrying for nothing.

unofficial weigh in and I have gained 2 pounds

.... what to do, what to do. My goal is 128 by Saturday and I am back up to 129. I know it takes about a week for the body to sort out the extra calories to speed up the metabolisim. I'm going to give my body 2 days to settle into the calorie rise, if this does not happen I'm taking my calories back down to 1200 and each week just go up 20 calories a day.

Weigh day

Weigh in day - I am down to 127 pounds. I am raising my calorie intake to 1400. I am feeling very comfortable in my skin, I am still unsure about food and the amount of calories to maintain.

Weigh in yesterday

ok, decision time. I've decided that my chest is the smallest I wish to accept and my hips are just not going to get much smaller - genes aren't all kind in our family. So the decision is that 128 is my ideal weight. So now I have to learn how to maintain - wish me luck. I am now going to increase my calorie count to 1300.

5ft.7in 33yrs
Starting Weight 18 March 06 - 182
First goal - 22 July 06 - 132
Current Weight, and new perfect weight 2 September 2006 - 128

Jury duty

I had jury duty this week. This is was my first time. Boy that was hard, trying to separate fact from fuzzy, and having to decide on someone's future. It was a unique opportunity. It was a positive experience and hope that if I am ever prosecuted, I have such an interested jury in the facts.

Weigh in day today and still 128 pounds

Still very happy with my weight now but it would be nice to loose the last 2 pounds. We will see.
Wow I can't believe I have lost 54 pounds. Its been a buzz.

Since I can safely say, I'm not going to go a size

lower. I have bought 2 pairs of reasonable jeans (I love them). I feel awfully spoilt. 2 pairs of justjeans jeans both size 8. They are slightly tight, but I still have my last 2 pounds to loose and they will be the perfect size then.
Here they are
http://www.justjeans.co.nz/Images/Catalog/ProductImages/039023_m.jpg
and
http://www.justjeans.co.nz/Images/Catalog/ProductImages/039007_m.jpg

I just tried on a pair of size 8 jeans (size 4 US)

and they were comfortable (jumps up and down and up and down again, squeals with joy)

:-) I'm down to 128 pounds / 58 kg/ 9stone 2 pounds

I am 2 pounds away from my ultimate goal weight :) I have uped my calories to 1260 a day. - Time to seriously be looking at maintenance.

Yesterdays weigh in

<:-) I have lost another pound, only 4 more to go. Although I might have to reconsider this weight. As I am pretty happy with my present shape.
So I now weigh 130 pounds / 9 stone 4 pounds / 59 kg

Ok so now I am a groupie

http://rockstar.msn.com/

Ok, I'm no teenager. So I was surprised when the first reaction to the song Lukas just sang made me cry. It sounded like an angel was singing. No song has ever made me cry before. Ummm wow wow wow wow

Weigh in again I have lost 1 pound :-)

Im down to 131 pounds / 9 stone 5 pounds / 59.4 kg

opps, fault in the code that was defaulting the bmr to

the males bmr. All fixed now.
http://www.nzideas.com/bmi.html

With the first part started by Richard and then my code tidied by Richard

tada www.nzideas.com/bmi.html
I'm pretty proud of it, its extremely practical, easy to use, I will have to pretty it up though. But not to bad for a first attempt at javascript.

Weigh in day

I am happy to say that I am still 132 pounds :-), so the extra 100 calories a day are helping to maintain, but slowly loosing weight. I was 132.5 pounds last week, now I am exactly 132 pounds.

Last week ended up being fish and salad for dinner instead of my burger fuel, so tonight I had burger fuel. The poor lady at the counter had to put up with making me a very special burger - a small bun with fish and lettuce and tomato and tomato sauce (My first burger in about 3 - 4 months), and it was devine.

I want to thank everyone who has had to put up with my highs and lows and strict need to control my food.

Finally the before and after photos together

weigh in day <:-) I have done it

I have lost 50 pounds. I now weigh 9 stone 6 pounds, 59.9kg, or 132 pounds.
I get to have my first special meal today, and I'm off to burger fuel for dinner for an altered nitris seaside. -- yum. My calorie intake is going up to 1200 calories.
Richard is charging his camera and then I can get some after photos for you all as promised.

This is not the end, I have a new goal of 9 stone (again), but its not urgent and it might not even be practical or healthy for me, so we will see.
I still have to learn how to maintain this weight.

What is motivating me to lose weight

My bikinis (and summer in 4 1/2 months time).
Looking good at the work ball in september, not shying away from the camera.
Not wearing a track suit on the beach.
Feeling comfortable wearing a light short sleeved summer dress.
Just being around people with out feeling like they are looking at me like I have no self control, or sloppy or lazy.

Weigh in yesterday

My weigh in proves that I'm not gaining weight. But alas I've not lost weight this week. So I still weigh 134 pounds. I have more confidience in next weeks weigh in.

For those interested in how I am losing the weight (47 pounds)

The first part of my diet was 10 days of water fasting, and then to make sure that I did not pile on the weight, I have slowly added food back to my diet. At certain points of my diet I have added back foods. This allows the body to believe that there there is no need slow down the metabolism because more and more food is coming its way. (This is possibly the reason why some people have never had to bother dieting and have stayed skinny). So the first week after the fast I only had a low fat cup of soup for lunch. I have been extremely strict on my diet, I found out that it takes about a week for your body to notice the food and speed up the metabolism to suit. The second week - low fat cup of soup for lunch Salad for dinner (with low fat dressing) Lettuce, tomato, asparagus Grated carrot, similar veges and so on
and now I eat quite a bit and am still loosing weight I have a cup minestrone soup with 1/3 to 1/2 can of tuna for either lunch or dinner (but at least 1 soup a day) I have a poached egg for breakfast (with tomato sauce for taste), 1 tablespoon of flax seed. Vegetable/avocado sushi (8 normal pieces) for either lunch or dinner, or a large plate full of salad, or a large plate full of vegetables either boiled, steamed or baked. and 50 grams of smoked salmon for dinner. Milk biscuits and a hunts fat free chocolate pudding, with 2 teaspoons of marmite to keep my iron levels up.
And yes I do exercise but not a lot, about 30 - 45mins a day during the week (from car to work and back and a little walk at lunch time), I am 33 and no I don't have children.
I hope this helps :-)

soooo sweet

Richard made the nicest thing for me
www.svghearts.com

Works in Opera, Firefox natively or any browser using the adobe SVG plug in. http://www.adobe.com/svg/viewer/install/main.html

And is one of the sweetest things anyone has made for me.

Updated BMI calculator

http://www.nzideas.com/BMI calculation.xls
I have now added a calorie to kilojoule and kilojoule to calorie converter to the spreadsheet. I have tidied up the little sheet too. Its tidy and practical, and I am happy for people to download it from my site, just don't say it is yours.

Weigh in again 134 pounds, I have lost 3 pounds this week

I am 134 pounds, I have lost 48 pounds
or
I am 9 stone 8 pounds, and I have lost 3 stone 6 pound
or
I am 60.78 kg, and I have lost 22 kg

I am 2 pounds away from my revised goal which I have now changed back from 9 stone 6 to 9 stone. Yes I have decided to try for 9 stone again, if its too light I will just add a bit more back. But I will be happy with 9 stone 6 and there is no urgency to go lighter. Plus I promised my after photo when I get to 9 stone 6 and I am keeping to it.
I'm really happy, I feel heaps healthier, I have heaps more energy, I'm becoming more comfortable with who I am.
2 more pounds away to being allowed a special meal on Saturdays.
<:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-) <:-)
1st Week - 16 pounds
2nd Week - 4 pounds
3rd Week - 1 pound
4th Week - 3 pounds
5th Week - 1 pound
6th Week - 3 pounds
7th Week - 3 pounds
8th Week - 3 pounds
9th Week - 1 pound
10th Week - 2 pounds
11th Week - 4 pounds
12th Week - 1 pound
13th Week - 1 pound
14th Week - 1 pound
15th Week - 1 pound
16th Week - Nothing
17th Week - 3 pounds

I have made a little BMI calculation chart

http://www.nzideas.com/BMI calculation.xls

You can convert your height and weight from metres and kg to pounds and feet, and work out how much you can eat to maintain your weight. It has a copy of the BMI table in it to reference what your BMI is. A cool little tool I know I will be using for a long time to come.

What an excellent message board

I am into exploring how much I can learn and where the limits are on learning. I've found this great site that promotes just that http://www.wordofmouthexperiment.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4

weigh in day and still 137 :-\

Oh well could be a lot worse, I could be getting bigger. I've got to ride it out and see what next week brings me.
I can't complain though. I went shopping today (because I have to to wear anything now). I'm definately a comfortable size 12 (usa size 10). And very close to size 10 (usa size 8). So I'm happy.

15 weeks into dieting and for the first time since

I have had chocolate again. Thank you hunts.
Hunt's snack pack fat free chocolate pudding 3.5 oz cups are the yummiest and only 90 calories and no fat, did I mention No fat.
I have also decided to limit my normal days calories down to 1000 - 1200 calories, so I can maintain my weight using those ever so tempting special meals when I get down to 9 stone 6pounds.

15 weeks of dieting

What a roller coaster ride of thoughts, emotions, highs higher than I would have ever thought and lows - feeling like I am starving. I feel like I am weaning myself off a drug that I will not be allowed to ever go cold turkey, with temptation everywhere. I have to train my body to feel full on a maintenance plan after I have lost these last 5 pounds. I am hoping it won't stay an eternal up hill battle.

1st Week - 16 pounds
2nd Week - 4 pounds
3rd Week - 1 pound
4th Week - 3 pounds
5th Week - 1 pound
6th Week - 3 pounds
7th Week - 3 pounds
8th Week - 3 pounds
9th Week - 1 pound
10th Week - 2 pounds
11th Week - 4 pounds
12th Week - 1 pound
13th Week - 1 pound
14th Week - 1 pound
15th Week - 1 pound

And now my very own quote

Just like any journey, it is easier to achieve your goals when you keep your eye on getting there and not the distractions.~ Suzanne Jeffares

Now for some light humour I found from

http://www.quotegarden.com regarding dieting

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. ~Author Unknown

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~Author Unknown

I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me! ~Author Unknown

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! ~Author Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990. ~Dave Barry

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad. ~Janette Barber

Gluttony is not a secret vice. ~Orson Welles

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. ~H.S. Leigh

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. ~Dan Bennett

I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~Marie Mott

Weigh in 137 pounds or 9stone 11 pounds

I'm still loosing weight which is great :-) expecting to only loose 1 pound every 2 weeks now, we will see how I go.
When I get down to 9stone 6pounds I would have lost 50 pounds.
Sometimes I find it hard to believe, and sometimes I still feel fat but my clothes say other wise.
I feel a lot healthier, I am not getting reflux at all, I still have to get used to people looking at me, when you are bigger people don't notice you at all (unless you are very obese, and I was not).
Getting closer to that before and after photo I promised, and I will keep to it.
It is getting harder to stick to the diet, I have to remind myself theres not much longer, not much more to loose then I can go on my maintenance diet/ healthy living.

Decision

I have decided to change my goal weight from 9 stone to 9 stone 6pounds, because my weight loss has slowed a lot, the calories in my diet daily are 900 - 1500 and I am almost happy with my weight.
So this means that I am very close to my goal weight now. I have worked very hard to get here and I am very happy with all my hard work.

Weigh in on the 17th

I am down officially to 9 stone 12 pounds. I still feel like I could loose a little bit more. Waiting for my body to feel the same way.
I really want to get down to 9 stone. I feel that would be the best weight for me.
I've had a cold and had no idea that the honey and lemon drinks that my sweet boyfriend was making for me were worth 70 calories each. 3 or 4 drinks later.
Anyway, I will be happy if I weigh in at 9 stone 12 pounds this coming Saturday.

Just a few thanks to companies for making low fat or low calorie products

No fat chocolate pudding (that I will be allowed when I get to 9st 6pounds)

http://www.snackpack.com/pages/index.html
http://www.dietfacts.com/html/items/36028.htm

Low fat cream cheese alternative - and sooooo yummy
Extra Light PHILADELPHIA – only 5% fat
http://www.kraft.com.au/philadelphia/products.cfm

wow, just wow

I have lost 44 pounds and there is only 12 more pounds to go.
Then I promise to put up the before and after photos :-).
I am only 6 more pounds away from being allowed a special meal (small meal or treat) a week and being allowed chocolate pudding every night (low/no fat of course).
Something to look forward to, definately.

Review of diet

1st Week - 16 pounds
2nd Week - 4 pounds
3rd Week - 1 pound
4th Week - 3 pounds
5th Week - 1 pound
6th Week - 3 pounds
7th Week - 3 pounds
8th Week - 3 pounds
9th Week - 1 pound
10th Week - 2 pounds
11th Week - 4 pounds
12th Week - 1 pound

at 9 stone 12 I am now allowed

a tablespoon of extra light (5% fat) cream cheese or 1/4 cup of xtra lite or trim milk, or a tablespoon of low fat cottage cheese.
And now I'm allowed potato, kumara and pumpkin also as part of my vege meal.

Weigh in day yesterday

Weigh in yesterday was 9 stone 13 pounds / 139 pounds / 63 kg, for a while there I was worried I would not be able to get below 10 stone. But I've done it. And today I weighed in at 9 stone 12 pounds /138 pounds / 62 kg.
It would be so easy to stuff up now, as other foods smell really really good, and this is something I'm going to have to be strict on till its second nature. People have been soooo supportive but are starting to say that I'm at my ideal, I know I'm only 12 pounds away then I will be happy.
I need to find nicer ways to politely say no when it comes to people offering food, I really don't think they understand how difficult this has been, I don't want them thinking I am being rude but I don't want to have to loose this weight again. I will have to learn to maintain very soon, I am hoping that its going to be a lot easier than this diet.
I am missing chocolate, icecream, burgers, roast chicken, bread, pizza, pasta and just being able to eat with others with out having to think about the calories.
I love how healthy I feel, heaps more energy, how I look, the excitement of having to go down a dress size when shopping (now I'm down from 16 - 18 to a size 12) thats been great :-), its been great getting the support of others telling me I am looking great.

Weigh in day yesterday

I am now down to 140 pounds (or 10 stone or 63.5kg)
I am 2 pounds away from adding some more of my favourite veges (potatoe, kumara (like sweet potatoe), and pumpkin), I will also be adding 1 table spoon of extra light cream cheese, or trim milk or cottage cheese as well.
I have been eating under 50 grams of smoked salmon each day now, and I am amazed that on a week where I have increased my calorie intake and a week where I normally have fluid retention and 11 weeks into my diet I have lost 4 pounds.
I can only put this down to the fact that I am slowly increasing the calories and this is increasing my metabolic rate. (Which is all good)

Review of diet

1st Week - Lost 16 pounds 2nd Week - Lost 4 pounds
3rd Week - Lost 1 pound 4th Week - Lost 3 pounds
5th Week - Lost 1 pound 6th Week - Lost 3 pounds
7th Week - Lost 3 pounds 8th Week - Lost 3 pounds
9th Week - Lost 1 pound 10th Week - Lost 2 pounds

I believe I have my appetite back fully now. My cravings still do not out weigh my fear of gaining the weight back.

I have to stay strong and work out the balance between loosing weight and staying healthy, then maintaining the weight but not gaining it back. I hope I get this balance straight.

I have to learn to respect my body and then it will be easier accepting the compliments and allowing others to like me (allowing myself to be likeable)

Weigh in day and another 2 pounds lost

I'm now down to 144 pounds. I am 1 pound away from allowing a thin slice of meat or fish with dinner. I can't wait. <:-)
I went shopping for something else to wear in the mean time. I took a size 14 and a size 12 pair of jeans in the changing room to try. :-) I had to put the size 14 back on the shelf, they were too large. I've not been a size 12 since I was in my early 20's.

Monday

was Richards birthday.
We had dinner at www.cafelogos.com , it is a very good resturant at night /cafe during the day. The food available suits vegans, vegetarians and those who like fish and chicken, so something for everyone.

Weigh in day again

This time, I have lost only 1 pound.
This is the 9th week and yes I'm not happy with the 1 pound loss. I have to remember that I have come along way. I've decided to cut down on the amount of avocado in my sushi.
Lets see what happens in the next week, or I might have to cut it back out of my diet.
Richard and I went to Denny's for dinner with Richards Mum, Sister and nephew.
It was great just chatting and catching up with them. Dono is growing up so fast.

weigh in day - I have lost 3 pounds this week again

1st Week - Lost 16 pounds
2nd Week - Lost 4 pounds
3rd Week - Lost 1 pound
4th Week - Lost 3 pounds
5th Week - Lost 1 pound
6th Week - Lost 3 pounds
7th Week - Lost 3 pounds
8th Week - Lost 3 pounds
I am now happy to tell people what I weigh and what I weighed
I weighed 82 kg, 181 pounds, or 12 stone 13 pounds at my biggest
:-) I am well over half way and I now weigh
66.7 kg, 147 pounds or 10 stone 7 pounds
I have lost 16 kg, 34 pounds, or 2 stone 6 pounds :-)
10 kg, 21 pounds, or 1 stone 7 pounds to go

95% of my clothes from my "skinny suitcase" are now in my wardrobe some I'm wondering whether I will have to throw them out because they are starting to get too baggy.

What a lovely surprise

An acquaintance, said that I had lost heaps of weight and that I was looking good. What a lovely compliment.

Monday morning again

The weekend has gone fast. I have had a lovely relaxing one. Yes sushi again for breakfast/lunch. I still don't know why st pierres is not a world wide company, and I don't know why they don't have a website, their sushi is excellent. Watching csi last night, then criminal intent.

I am happy with my weight loss, I wish it was coming off as easily as it did the first week, but I know that would be dangerous and would leave horrible looking stretch marks.... so I plod along.

Something to note

I have noticed that I am eating slower, and drinking more water. Food tastes better and eating it slower makes it more filling.

Week 7 weigh in and I'm over the moon

I have lost another 3 pounds this week and I have to put it down to exercising in front of the tv at night and eating my poached egg in the morning.

This should have been my toughest week of the month again.
<:-) Gotta love those eggs.

weigh in day - and I have lost 3 pounds this week

:-)
In total, over 6 weeks I have lost 28 pounds (2 stone or 13kg) I am at the half way mark and feel more enthused than ever, with heaps of energy. The last time I was this weight was when I was 26, yes 7 years ago.
I am now allowed an egg a day in my diet.
Next goal (only another 5 pounds away) is to be allowed a 1/4 avacado in my salads or avocado sushi.
1st Week - Lost 16 pounds
2nd Week - Lost 4 pounds
3rd Week - Lost 1 pound
4th Week - Lost 3 pounds
5th Week - Lost 1 pound
6th Week - Lost 3 pounds

I went to see the movie Sione's Wedding with a friend, It was excellent. Right up to HollyWood standard. Making me proud to be a New Zealander.
http://www.sioneswedding.com/
I wish the website promoting it was as good a quality. (hmmmmm)
Because it was a birthday present for my friend, we went to the circle lounge at the Berkeley Cinema in the Botany Town Centre the seats were so comfortable, and the view excellent and same with the service. http://www.circlelounge.co.nz/

Back on weight loss track :-)

Its more than likely going to be slow from here on in. I exercised last night again, getting my heart rate up. It felt good. While watching television this will be a norm. Hoping to get my metabolism up again.

An acquaintance

Commenting on how much weight I had lost and how good I was looking. I can honestly say that that was the highlight of my day.
I started exercising last night and have woken up a pound heavier, this is disappointing.
I am constantly fighting back cravings and I'm sticking with my diet and somehow I gain a pound. :(

Richard came over

Monday night and stayed Tuesday. Richard seems to be really happy where he is staying.
We slept in and had sushi for lunch and watched television most of the day. I can't get enough of sushi, I think there must be an addictive ingredient in there somewhere (lol).
I'm still 2 pounds away from being allowed a egg in my diet. I have to remind myself that it will take a while as I slowed my metabolism down heaps in the first 2 weeks. I don't feel pretty yet. I have to be strong, giving in will make the weight pile on with some extra. In the long run I will be really happy with the results.

Found my before photo - Dated 4th March 2006

I can't believe I was actually that big. I'm only half way still.

News Flash for me and possibly others

After deciding yesterday to cheat a little bit for taste sake. I asked the people who make my sushi to add a little bit of avocado paste to my sushi. Today I have lost another pound from yesterday. I decided to do some study on this phenomenon, and this is what I've found googling;
"When unsaturated fats are consumed there is an increase in the producing of lipases fat burning enzymes. If the body does not consume enough fats, these enzymes are not released. If these enzymes are not released, there will be no extra enzymes to be used to help break down stored body fat.... Foods that are high in unsaturated fats include avocado, chicken, fish, nuts, and vegetable oils."
http://www.bodyandfitness.com/Information/Weightloss/weight.htm

"Monounsaturated fats are those molecules in which one carbon is not completely saturated with hydrogen and this free carbon forms a double bond. Oleic acid found in olive oil, peanuts, avocado and canola oils is a good example of monounsaturated fatty acids. This is also called an omega 9 because its double bond occurs nine carbons up from the molecule's acid tail."

Omega 9 is a Essential Fatty Acid (or EFA for short)

"EFAs in weight reduction:
Omega 6 fatty acids, like GLA and CLA (conjugated linoleic acid), aids weight reduction in two ways: It can activate brown adipose tissue, which is often under-active in overweight people and it can encourage the ATP metabolic process, which burns calories (Vaddadi, K and Horrobin, D., IRCS J Med Sci, 1979). Obese people are deficient in GLA and GLA supplementation can help dieters feel full by increasing seretonin in the brain (Delion, S. et al. J Neurochem, 1996)."

http://www.bodylanguagevitamin.com/fattyacids.html

"Two of the many benefits to an EFA complex are:

1- Increase the metabolic rate 2- Help burn fat

There are several other benefits but in essence, what this says is that getting 15-20% of your good fats in your diet daily will actually increase your metabolic rate resulting in more fat loss!"

http://www.positivearticles.com/Article/Should-You-Avoid-All-Fats-/478

So long story cut short, Avocado paste will now stay in my sushi.

Weigh in day again and I lost 1 pound

I'm still not cheating and I'm hoping that I'm building muscle again as this can be the only reasonable explanation. (Either that or I'm getting up in the middle of the night, sleep driving to a fast food place ordering and sleep eating the food before sleep driving back). I'm still 3 pounds away from eating an egg a day.

Some friends are concerned about me about to eat an egg a day

I thank you for caring.
Regarding the care of the birds first - I am getting barn laid eggs instead of battery hen eggs. They are spca approved.
"The eggs are laid by genuine barn hens which roam freely in spacious barns and do not live in cages.
SPCA approval means:

"These Barn eggs are produced to SPCA standards.
The hens have litter in which to scratch and dust bathe, space to flap their wings, stretch and socialise, nests in which to lay their eggs and adequate perching space.
They have constant water and feed and are protected from the elements and predators." "
http://www.barneyseggs.co.nz/barney/barneyhome.htm

2ndly - my health eating eggs
The National heart foundation of New Zealand says
"What about eggs?

Eggs can be included as part of a normal varied healthy eating pattern.

If you have heart or blood vessel disease check with your local doctor before including a lot of eggs in your diet."
http://www.nhf.org.nz/index.asp?pageID=2145828163#What%20about%20eggs?

By Dr. Kathrine B Davis (20 April 2000)
"Eggscuse Me!
People concerned about cholesterol levels should reconsider the positive benefits eggs may offer. Eggs contain anti-oxidants, folate and other B-Vitamins, unsaturated fat and have positive effects on HDL or "good" cholesterol. Harvard University research has found that even healthy people with a high (one egg a day) intake did not show increased rates of heart disease or stroke. They suggested that the other nutrients in eggs may counter the effects of the high cholesterol content. For those of you who feel the afternoon "slump" a boiled egg is a great substitute for a snack bar, cheaper, tasty and a power meal in a nice eco-friendly, brown packet."
http://www.homebizbuzz.co.nz/article.php3?ArticleID=86&printer=1

3rdly - The reason for me wanting to eat eggs apart from the fact that I love eggs

"Eggs

Eggs from free-range chickens are a balanced food which have mistakenly been considered the culprits of excessively high cholesterol levels. They contain cholesterol, but this is emulsified by the lecithin they also contain. Lecithin enables fats, including cholesterol, to be dispersed in water and eliminated from the body. Eggs are an excellent source of protein, sulfur, iron and vitamin A, and provide a valuable source of vitamin B12 for people who do not eat meat. In addition, eggs contain choline, tryptophan (which is converted into vitamin B3), biotin, folic acid, vitamin B2, vitamin B1, vitamin B5, selenium, zinc, phosphorus, magnesium and calcium. Eggs from free-range chickens have bright yellow-orange yolks and thick, strong shells and a better flavor than commercial eggs produced on factory farms. In addition, caged chickens and their eggs produce much lower levels of the beneficial omega-3 and omega-6 essential fatty acids than free-range chickens."
http://www.nutrition.ecsd.net/background%20information.htm
" Let me give you an example. Eggs. Eggs contain a thing called Lecithin. It helps your body digest cholesterol and break it down. Yes, the egg has something in it that actually helps your body break down and recycle cholesterol, including the cholesterol in the egg itself. Just like I talked about earlier, if you eat something like it is found in nature, it comes with what it needs."
http://www.beinghealthynaturally.com
"Why choose eggs?

* Protein, Vitamin, and Mineral Content
o Egg white protein quality is used as the gold standard for comparison with other proteins
o Whole eggs offer almost every essential vitamin and mineral needed by humans, with the exception of vitamin C
o Egg yolks contain an array of essential vitamins, such as vitamins A, D, E, and K, not found in egg whites
* Source of Carotenoids: Lutein and Zeaxanthin
o One egg yolk, on average, contains significant amounts of the two carotenoids, lutein and zeaxanthin
o Research shows that individuals who consume a greater number of foods rich in lutein and zeaxanthin have a lower risk for age related macular degeneration and heart disease
"
http://www.med.umich.edu/umim/clinical/pyramid/eggs.htm

The clothing problem

I have smaller clothes that I could not fit into almost falling off me, old clothes chucked out and then my smaller clothes that are just a little too tight still.
I don't want to buy new clothes till I get to my goal weight. So I'm just putting up with it at the moment.

How I'm losing the weight

(I am not suggesting nor recommending what I did, I've been studying nutrition since I was 12 years old and I knew I was flirting with a hospital bed at the beginning).

For the first 10 days I just drank water.

The next 7 days I had a cup of low fat soup for lunch.

When I lost another 4 pounds I allowed myself
Salad for dinner (very full large plate) (or veg sushi 4 lunch & soup 4 dinner)
Lettuce, tomato, asparagus Grated carrot, similar veges (using low fat dressing)

Now that I have lost another 4 pounds I'm allowed
Salad/Veges for dinner (very full large plate) (or veg sushi for lunch & soup 4 dinner)
If salad Lettuce, tomato, asparagus,Grated carrot, similar veges (using low fat dressing)
If veges cauliflower, broccoli, peas, carrots, corn, mushrooms, silver beet, cabbage, brussel sprouts, beans (using soy sauce as a condiment)

This weekend Richard and I went down

to see family. Had a great time watching movies and having spas and just relaxing and catching up. It reminded me what it felt like to have Richard around me all the time, I miss that. Richard still has to make up his mind whether he loves me and wants to be with me and live with me. I refuse to make that decision for him for him just to get all tied up in knots again and blow up at me and leave again. It gets hard to understand how hard a decision it must be for him.

I've lost a lot of weight in a very short time period, there has been a lot of toxins running around my body and affecting my emotions. I have to take this into consideration when I get upset.

Where I was, Where I am now and where I want to be

Review of dieting

1st Week - Lost 16 pounds
2nd Week - Lost 4 pounds
3rd Week - Lost 1 pound
4th Week - Lost 3 pounds

In total I have lost 24 pounds - so far
31 pounds to go

Weigh in day

I have lost 3 more pounds this last week.
Yes, Its coming off again. Allowed to eat vegetables for dinner now :-) .

This past weekend

Was great.
Friday night, Dennys and Movies with Richard - my little movie review is below.
Saturday, slept in and went to sushi for brunch, relaxed around the house, went to see Eric and Jess, Shawn was looking as cute as ever. Regan had finished editing Erics and Jess' wedding video (It was excellent) he had used at least 2 different angles using his own video camera and another persons, and took the best shots from both then used both audios from the cameras to get the best sound. Apparently the sound had been out by a bit making it more like a English/Chinese translated kungfu movie, but when we saw it you could not tell as Regan had resynced the words to the lips of the people talking.
I made Richard devilled sausages for dinner and had soup. I don't cook for Richard much but he said he enjoyed it.
We watched sin city on the Saturday night, I don't think much of it.
Sunday we went over to Richards mums place, Richard sorted out a laptop, we chatted and went off to Lunch at Dennys again. They make lovely soups. When we got back home, Richard headed off to his as he was tired.
I tried to do the lawns, the motor mower had other ideas, I filled the car up as today (Monday) the petrol prices have jumped 8 cents. We are now up to $1.61NZD a litre. I remember when we were all shocked that petrol had hit the dollar mark. Oh well.

Being selfish

I have always wanted to weigh less, but felt I needed to be polite and eat what was in front of me or have the roast when visiting family.
I do love food, too much.
This diet is soley for me, I have lost 21 pounds (10kg) in 3 weeks and I'm not putting it back on, I'm being very strict on my diet, to the point that I'm scared that if I just touch something not on my diet I will gain it all back (and knowing my past diets this has been the case).
I am slowly working up to a diet plan that allows me to eat without losing weight and allows me to stay at my goal weight.
This is all very selfish I know, but for my health and for my self esteem this is a necessity.

21 pounds lost and I've decided to be a little more

Lenient.
When I lose 3 more pounds I'm allowed cooked veges for dinner instead of salad.
When I lose 4 extra pounds I'm allowed a boiled egg with dinner.
When I lose 5 extra pounds I'm allowed 1/4 avocado with my salad.
When I lose 5 extra pounds I'm allowed 1 thin slice of meat or fish, and if I have sushi for lunch I'm allowed avocado sushi and soup for dinner.
When I lose 7 extra pounds I'm allowed corn, pumpkin, kumara, potato, tablespoon of cream cheese (extra light),or trim milk and I'm allowed avocado sushi for lunch.
and
When I lose 11 extra pounds I'm allowed a small special meal each day I'm under my goal weight to help manage my weight.

Weigh in day

The week that I normally weigh more due to water retention, I've lost a pound this week.
I'm happy with this progress, but expecting way better results next week.
I don't think it would have really been safe to go back to just soups at lunch time anyway.

Went to dinner and the movies with Richard last night, we saw V for Vendetta, If you did not bring your brain then you would have walked out confused. If you saw it from the eyes of someone who was intrigued with the Matrix (from the same makers), I believe it made a lot of sense. Reminding humans that we can't become complacent in our role of voting, having our say, allowing freedom of speech and what the consequences of not doing so could result in. Making it painstakingly evident that this has happened before and not to let it happen again.

Something to note

I've not lost anything since Saturday morning, this is discouraging since I have not strayed one bit on my diet.

Reasons why I can't lower my calorie intake to compensate (yet);
My calorie intake is under 1000 calories so there is no way that I could not be losing weight.
This is the week of the month I normally gain 3 to 7 pounds of water.
I am toning up.
I am still doing at least 20 mins of exercise a day.

If I have not started losing weight on Wednesday next week I will re-evaluate this decision then.

Was feeling a bit weak, body healing itself from not eating the first 7 days.

Richard stayed over, it was great having his company, we were going to go to the movies but ended up picking up Richards dinner and watching our favourite tv shows instead. Charmed, House and Boston Legal.

What a weekend

I went down to KatiKati Saturday morning and stayed the night. Was great to get away and relax. Had a great big plate of salad for dinner, with a low fat dressing on top.
I've changed my rules a bit on the diet. Either soup for lunch and Salad for dinner or vegetable sushi for lunch and soup for dinner. I found some yummy thick soups that just need heating that are 98 and 99% fat free in the supermarket.
Back to Aucks this morning in time for sushi with Richard. Then dinner and a DVD. Richard and I are seeing each other again, this time we are taking things slowly, there is no need for Richard to move in, and he is happy where he is. Giving us time to enjoy each others company instead of jumping into the day to day life stuff. We are both happy with this decision.

:) bye bye stubborn 2 pounds

I have lost 4 pounds this week (7 pounds considering the change in scales). So I'm having salad for dinner :-), (or vegetable sushi for lunch and my soup then for dinner). And start up little walks after dinner.

Went to the movies last night, It was a great night out, then chatting till all hours of the morning. Richard and I seem to be making progress, I'm still giving him time. I want him to be sure of what he wants.

Friday is here and

one more day before weigh in. To be fair to myself if I were on my old scales I would have lost 3 - 4 pounds, but on the new ones my weight loss this week is presently 1 pound.

So the people out there who care and were worried about the first week, there is no need to. I still will be having salads for dinner as soon as I loose those 2 extra stubborn pounds. Thank you for caring though.

I can't wait till the weekend, catching up and taking it easy.

Effects of my mini make over

On Monday and Tuesday I've have had heaps of positive feedback. I suppose I'm going to have to get used to people noticing me. This week will be a very low weight loss week, although I'm still expecting to loose 4 pounds (just under 2kg).
Reason: I've started having cup a soup for lunch and my metabolism is low from not eating for the 7 days prior.
The soup is giving me more energy so my metabolism should be getting faster. I'm feeling stronger any way.
Its really incredible how slow your metabolism can get that I'm almost maintaining my weight on 100 - 200 calories a day.
I went out and bought electronic scales last night, my rusty old ones are saying hi to the rubbish collection tomorrow. The difference between them is 3 pounds. Which I have had to ignore those three pounds and pretend I haven't lost them as they have already been accounted for.
Anyway 3 more pounds and I'm going to try stomaching salads for dinners.

And hey just found out that blogspot seems to like firefox more than IE. To edit I will start using firefox from now on.

Last night

Richard sent me an email of his thoughts and feelings about us. I was so impressed, he was very candid about things that upset him and how he feels about me (good and bad). It was one of the nicest things anyone has written. Honesty is important to me. I know if we get back together there is heaps of work to do from both sides, and I think there is a chance that communication and understanding where each other comes from would make it very successful.

Went to lunch with Richard today

Its strange not holding his hand, I kept crossing my arms so I would not accidentally go for his hand. I had asked him last night if he could please not look for someone else for a month, because I just want to give us a chance to rekindle what we had before we rushed into everything. And if there is something worth holding on to, just taking things slowly.
(Also gives him a chance to get away and think about what he really wants, and if things don't work it gives me time to accept that it was not meant to be)
After speaking with Richard he did not realise that's what I meant. He said he would give it a month after asking.
He has been very patient with me.

Jumping up and down

I rechecked my bmi verses my height today. I mucked up (grins) in my favour. I am now in my healthy weight range (at the top end of course), but healthy none the less.
I've fixed up the lower end of my bmi as well.

Relief

Richard came around and fixed my wireless issue on my PC.

We had a good talk.
I explained how I totally understand him wanting his own space and honestly I think he could really use somewhere where he can go and think and relax and sort out his thoughts.
I'm finding that I'm now enjoying the space, I can eat what I like when I like, more time to pamper myself (did a mini make over today, plan to stay this way after 2 people saying I'm looking good). Anyway..... I said that if he wants us to be friends I need to know if there is hope for us. (that's not what I was asking at all).
I love him heaps, and yes there is so much I miss about him, but at the beginning everything went too fast and we did not have time to talk and understand each other before Richard moved in. This has been very frustrating for both of us. (which has caused arguments).
I finally worked out what I wanted to say at the end of the conversation, at that is I need clarity on what is acceptable in this friendship.
I love the idea of being friends at the moment, and if anything works out again, I would be happy for it to, when we understand each other. I said that I can't just wait on the basis that he might or might not want me back, so I had to know that he would be ok if I ended up finding someone else before he decided (because he might not ever decide). He agreed.

Wow - 1st week weigh in and I have lost 16 pounds

That's 1 stone and 2 pounds in one week. I've never lost that much in one week.
39 pounds/ 18 kg to go.
Although I'm feeling very weak this morning. Next weeks weigh in will be way less weight loss. I've not been this weight for about 4 years.
I'm not giving up this fight.
I now have TV, although in my efforts to install it, I inadvertently uninstalled wireless, by starting my PC up without the USB wlan attached. Richard used to look after the router and the home network, so I asked for his help, he was very helpful.
There is much for me to learn about this wireless network, I'm getting there.

Weight loss is going great

I am 1 pound away from losing a whole stone this week. I have decided to be a bit more realistic on the goal weight. I was wanting my goal weight to be at the lowest end of the healthy weight range. I've decided 9 stone is a more realistic weight.
As at today I have lost 6 kg / 13 pounds. And I now have 20 kg or 42 pounds more to loose. :-).
I know the weight loss will slow down and I am prepared for this.

I bought a tv tuner last night, so tonight I will have tv again since Sunday.

I don't know what my future holds for me

But I do have control over my weight now and I will be taking full advantage of this new control. I have worked out that by June at the latest I will be down to my ideal weight. I would have lost 60 pounds (28 kg), I can't wait. Next summer will be the first time on the beach in a bikini. I promise to add the before and after photos.
50 pounds (24 kg) to go.

Talking

Richard and I talked last night, I slept a bit easier last night.
I really don't know what else to say.

I don't know what title to put on this one

4:00am Monday morning – 20th March 2006 (either computer or internet connection was mucking up getting this in my blog earlier)
Richard and I broke up this weekend. I feel like my world has tipped upside down. I can only stop crying when I’m not trying to work out what went wrong or someone brings up his name.
I’m stopping my headaches by drinking water they seem to be from crying too much. Even the smell of food makes me want to be sick. I’ve given up on sleep for tonight. I feel mentally and physically drained, I don’t understand where it went so wrong.

Richard has lots of support which is great.I’m lucky enough to have supportive family who has rung me and txt me often since. And a friend of the family has stayed over night last night to keep me company, which helped to keep my mind off everything. Richards mum has been her lovely self (so supportive).

He has tried to be there for me, asking me how I’m doing, this makes it hurt even more. He shows no emotion. I’ve not been able to eat since our fight on Friday night. Work will be a break from this pain. I can’t comprehend how someone can say they love you the day before and be non emotive and even happy to go out find a flat, and move out the day after. He rang last night to see how I was. I honestly don’t know if he were expecting me to say ‘great’, he seemed really happy.

People around him say that there is a reason, but to protect him I won’t say what they think as he has not admitted it in his own blog any where. If I had a choice I would have listened harder when he said that people in his family say he has this condition and I would have studied up on it. I would have rewound Friday night so it did not happen.
I want him to ring saying that he misses me and he loves me and that he has worked out that its easier living with me than away from me. (I know this is more than likely just a dream, that hurts me more than trying to look ahead).

On a lighter note

I have started a new website www.wishesandblessings.com.
There is lots more to do but thought into action is going well. :)

One of the saddest things I've had to do

Half of my life (my family blogs) have had to be taken off my blog and will stay off my blog from here on in. I WISH PEOPLE COULD STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF CENSOR THOSE WHO ARE HONEST.

I was well within my rights.

The privacy law for those who don't know it,
http://www.nz-lawsoc.org.nz/lawtalk/651privacy.htm

and a snippet from this site on privacy.

"The Court of Appeal decision in Hosking has further clarified the situation somewhat. The facts in the Hosking case are well known and do not require extensive examination here. In short, Mike and Marie Hosking attempted to stop New Idea magazine from publishing photos of their 18-month-old twin daughters. The pictures had been taken while Mrs Hosking was pushing her daughters in a buggy through a street in Auckland.
The Hoskings argued that their children’s privacy would be breached and that an injunction was an appropriate remedy. The court, however, said that the Hoskings’ case failed because the photos showed nothing that could not have been observed by a member of the public on the Auckland street on that particular day. It was also held that the photos were not highly offensive to a reasonable person.
Gault P and Blanchard J considered the two fundamental requirements for a breach of privacy were the existence of facts in respect of which there was a reasonable expectation of privacy and publicity given to those facts that would be considered highly offensive to an objective reasonable person."

Yesterday was Jess's and Eric's wedding & Aydans Birthday

As you can see the bride was beautiful, the groom handsome.
The wedding was lovely and the weather just got better through the day.

Aydan got his first mp3 player, and seems to enjoy it. On his birthday, Amanda took him to Rainbows End and he got a chocolate cake, and cell phone.

My birthday was yesterday

Mum had sent me chocolates, a novel and a vegetarian cook book, a torch and one of those key ring finders.
Dad rang to say happy birthday and got my answer machine - sorry dad.... Thank you for trying. Thanks for the mp3 player dad :) 25th Feb - thanks for the ipod shuttle, I love it.
Amanda gave me a beautiful amethyst ring (my birth stone).
I came home to a beautiful big bunch of flowers, and out to Chang Thong and ordered "Fried rice with Chicken, Pork and Prawns", the lady serving us said "yes, combination fried rice".... lol, yes I go to a lovely restaurant and I order combination fried rice.
The food was divine.
Thank you Richard for making my birthday away from family for the first time a great day. xxx ooo

Valentines

Richard took me out to Daikoku, very entertaining, and yummy food. On walking out was abit worried and curious as to why they had a D grade. Very romantic :)

Berocca Performance

I don't really know what to say, apart from wow. I'm not into promoting products. This one is great. It gives me a sense of calm, peace, well-being and I feel like I have heaps more energy and I can concentrate on projects for a lot longer. I'm over the moon. If you feel worn down, worn out, feeling down or sad, try it. I have been taking vitamins since my teens and I have never come across a vitamin combination this good before.

I would love to hear comments on what others think, so please add a comment on this one.

New Years resolutions goals

To get competent with
PHP
XML
SQL
To get healthy and loose weight
To get the saving bug

New Car bought, I love it

Yes its another Ford Laser (this time a 5 door instead of a sedan). Bought on the 11th of Jan. The previous owners have looked after it really well so my resolve is to do the same. I've bought one of those wheel locks to make it less tempting to theives.

What a day

I decided to go back and get a black skirt from a sale, that skirt now has a price tag of $1,305.00. My car was stolen, from somewhere I thought was safe as houses.
Stolen between 1pm and 2pm today (Monday 9th January 2006) The police have been advised. Was in the Pakuranga Warehouse car park. Has a brand new WOF (as of yesterday) and a sticker on the back saying please drive safely, you may need me I give blood. Just incase you see it, the number plate is MH5347, a Red 1986 Ford Laser, I will miss her, she drove well.

Dentist visit

Well I've done it. No pain great dentist *plug for the dentist - and note to self
Company: Bright White dental centre, Dr Ming Wei Goh, ph 576 8689
In the Pakuranga town centre

I decided to go to the Dentists yesterday

and get the bad news over and done with. After I think 11 years of staying away. The dentist was very nice. He seemed rather happy with my teeth, the 2 top back ones need a bit of filling though. I've decided to get this over and done with on Monday (tomorrow) morning. I've also got my WOF sorted on my car. Between the 2 my credit card does not like me very much. I still have a week of holiday time left before going back to work. I'm hoping to get some proper R & R in before work.

Xmas has come and gone

Still on holiday though. Xmas was great, surrounded by family in KatiKati. My sister got me a lovely amethyst necklace that I can wear everyday, my boyfriend bought me a bicycle, dad bought me a weed wacker (I asked for it), my nephews bought me car seat covers, My boyfriends mum bought me a spice rack and a salt crystal tealight (which I have been using all the time).... then up to Russell for New Years Eve.
We had the best weather, pics of the hole in the rock cream cruise we went on.

The Black Rocks

Urupukapuka Island

The Hole in the Rock



New Years was great, my sister was in Paihia for New Years, so Richard and I took the ferry over and had a drink with Amanda, Clint and Gail.


And back to the cabin in time for New Years and Fire works.